About me

A mother, wife and civil servant, a conscientious citizen and patriot ----- my abiding love for books has made me try my hand at writing poetry, none of which is anything but the strictly spontaneous outpouring of a mind that prizes truth and harmony, above all else.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

quotas



If the patels want a quota
And the jats want a quota
If the muslims want a quota
And the christians want a quota
Let us by all means acquiesce
First a little precaution
Amend the constitution
Declare common sense's demise
And India a Republic of Reservations
Of all manners and pernicious kinds
(Priya )
28.8.2015

sibling day



Let me dedicate these lines
to the girls who died before their time
either in wombs, poisoned or sliced
or wrenched out and thrown away like garbage
if allowed to breathe the stench of oppression
their lives they live circumscribed
by tradition's false grandeur
today they shall celebrate Raksha Bandhan
and tie strands intertwined with duty and affection
on the wrists of their wise and loving brothers
who are as often the monsters from whom
other girls need protection
Let us do away with this hypocrisy


I propose today
A change in nomenclature
I ask for your love and support
As I chase my dreams , dear brother
Not your protection from monsters
That we as families rear
Happy Sibling Day, shall we say ?

( priya)
29.8.2015

perspective



A little to the right
And the sight of
A vast green canopy
Greets my eye
If I look to the left
An ugly sprawl of
Dilapidated buildings
Frowns back
Perspective matters
Say the french windows
In my office
And I nod in agreement
(Priya)
2.9.2015

delhi



dwarfed by the cell towers
that stand tall in their steel and
red weather proof painted glory
are the domes and minarets
that once dominated the skyline
with unsurpassed majesty
true it is that the towers embody
the advancement of technology
and we would poorer, not richer be,
if such progress were not a
part of the human story
nonetheless, the sheer beauty
of the pink domes and the
desires and designs of the artisans's
souls that they embody
cannot but make one make one nostalgic
for the times when Delhi had wide roads
flowering trees, clean air and open spaces.
(priya)
4.9.2015

mascot



A hawk descended on my window sill today

I watched it awhile in quiet fascination

the regal attitude,the fierce expression

fearlessly it looked me in the eye

before it flew away


I think I will make it my office mascot

and be fearless and fierce

as I plod my way

through the solitary file

that winds up on my desk

during the course of the day


one has to be the manner born

to combine idleness with a regal mien

so a complete transformation will not take place !

(priya)

8.9.2015

books



when racked
by life's uncertainties
i turn to books
and live the life i would

how melancholy
i would be
if books were lost
and fantasy

(priya)
29.9.2015

vision



The doctor was emphatic

Half your life , he said

You have looked at the world

Through glasses that magically

Screen the ugliness


No surgery can improve such vision

Retain your hope and optimism


So here I am

Switching between distance and

Reading glasses

But seeing the same bright hues on

most days

Sometimes sadness overwhelms but nothing

a switch of glasses won't drive away




(priya)


5/10/2015

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

september



September was special
but that was eons ago
when my birthday was
a celebration
for those who
had seen me grow
from a sickly child
to a studious teen
who steadfastly fulfilled
her family's dreams
(her own remained
a secret buried deep
----
to have someone say
your beauty brightens my day)


now September comes and goes
there is a dinner, a present,
almost always an argument

if it were in my power
I would erase September
as also the pretense.

(priya)
22.9.2015

Sunday, September 13, 2015

shabd

तब बातों में मिठास भी थी
और कहने को बहुत कुछ
अब कोहरे सी घनी ख़ामोशी है
और कुछ ठंडी हवा से सनसनाते शब्द

(priya )

a single flower

a single flower
would suffice
to drench life
forever
in its fragrance
(priya)

green

hues of green
in leaves
and memories
when it rains
(priya)

raah

फूलों से महकती
काँटों से रहित
किसकी है मुन्तज़िर
झोंका ठंडी हवा का
कोमल स्पर्श बादल का
पायल की छुन छुन
दीवाने दिल की छड़कन
निराश राही का पड़ाव
दिल से निकली दुआ
कहीं ऐसा तो नहीं
इस राह को भूल चुकी है दुनिया
(priya)

kindred

the cuckoo calls
my heart responds with
unbounded gaiety
if we were kindred meant
to be
why do we destroy their worlds
so recklessly
(priya)

father



for my beloved father
if i could
would i have you
return to life
the crinkled smile in your eyes
the tweed coat in winters smelling
of the daily , just one peg
of whisky
the devdas songs hummed
oh so soulfully
the love poured into the gajar
halwa that you stirred
for hours to get it
"just right"
the admonitions to wrap myself
in one more layer
even when I was
bundled up
as if an eskimo
stepping out into an icy night
the camaraderie that never failed
even when other relationships
did
and i cried on your shoulder
and found respite
the constant urging to do better, yet better
that has brought me to a place
where I can step up and say
papa, I am your daughter
and feel a surge of pride

oh yes oh yes oh yes
(priya)

violet



today I choose violet
and ask myself
if the world were black and white
would it still be an enchanting sight

or if only violet were absent
would it make a difference
there are the violet flowers I see
on the neighbour's pretty trellis
sometimes the sky turns a pale violet
when yellows, oranges and reds merge at sunset
meadows abloom with flowers are pink and yellow and white
rarely are violet flowers one's object of delight
between radiant red and shrinking violet
I would choose the red any day
Violet neither excites, nor soothes an anxious heart
Tell me, if you can, its dull or somber part.
(priya)

memories

memories
that walk
with me so
that i cannot say
is this or that
reality
(priya)

hope

storms that are past
and those to come
look puny and remote
when the mind is strong
and the heart beats
to the lilting rhythm of hope
(priya)

despair

Sometimes it seems
That He does not hear
Your prayers and lamentations
The slender thread that is Hope
begins to wear thin
and you watch with a despairing resignation
It is then that He smiles
And enters your life
As a stranger or a patron or
A friend
Hope gets strengthened again
and you know He is never too far away
(priya)

silence

when did you last hear
plain unvarnished silence
not the silence of soft
music playing from hidden corners
or the silence of an office
where the machines work silently
i don't even mean the silence
of switched off televisions and phones
no, not the silence of a home
where everyone is tucked in
their beds, in deep sleep
I don't allude to the silence of
lofty mountain tops, nor to
the silence of still blue lakes
forests are silent at night but
that is not the silence I have in mind
sometimes the house is silent during
the day, the chores done, the children
boisterous in school
there are train journeys at night that
make you think, is this silence , as
the train passes so smoothly over the dark rails
that there is merely a whisper and a whoosh
sometimes, friends share a coffee in
a quiet barista at noon, sitting in silence
but that is not what I mean either
not even the silence of lovers who stroll
hand in hand down the beach
on a dark and balmy night
or the mother rocking her child gently to sleep
the silence of a poet hunched over his notebook
scribbling away ? no ! and No also to the sweep of the brushes
that fill a canvas with colour while the picture is still
only in the mind's eye
the curly haired child snuggled up with his dog ?
or the silent solitary walk of the grey haired
elder at dawn ?? No !
I refer to the silence of the uncluttered mind
the mind empty of all thoughts
all ambitions
all designs
all pain
all greed
all questions
all grief
the silence of the mind that knows, I am,
and that is enough
(priya)

sunlight

sunlight falls gently
upon closed eyelids
I rise from dreams
and Life awakens
if there were darkness always
would I know the difference
perhaps, there is no difference
between the sleeping and the waking state
the one as real as the other
though we choose to set store by the latter
(Priya)

anew

Life begins anew
every day
It does not ask you
your age
Or what happened yesterday
(priya)

nice

If I had my way
- - - perhaps I will some day
The impossible happens
At least, it is known to happen
Though I have but dreamt of it
But rag pickers become millionaires
And icons lay bare their feet of clay
So it may happen that I have my way
To prohibit ban excise forever
From all speech written and oral
One word, but one word , so
That it does not even remain a memory
And ceases to torture those like me
Who feel - - nice? Could there be a word more bereft of meaning
There is good and there is excellent
There is joy and there is exultation
There are sorrow and misery and renunciation
People are loving or deceitful or full of enchantment
The sunrise is glorious sunset is resplendent
The sea roars or is soothingly silent
The wind blows fiercely at times
And at others is but a gentle breeze
The world is radiant or full of mystery
Fortune favours or ill favours but is never quiescent
Please oh please drop NICE from the vocabulary!
(priya)

grief

oh the sharpness of grief
slicing through memories
till the rawness is laid bare
bloodied, bittersweet
(priya)

walk away

and what if you fall in love
and realise
the story is destined for an
early demise
do you walk away
and save your heart
for another day
or do you risk the
heartache
because loving is losing
---losing bits of your self ----
anyway
(priya)

circles

i live my life
you live yours
i have my freedom
you have yours
love cannot be a prison
i passionately exclaim
you nod in agreement
and i am taken in
years pass before i realise
our lives are concentric circles
--- yours contains mine
(priya)

pot of gold

there i go again
chasing a rainbow
though i know
i never will find
the pot of gold
why do I not
for once
love a caterpillar
perhaps it will linger
chasing butterflies
is a fool's errand
too.
(priya)

eloquence

eloquence can be
its own punishment
had i not voiced my fears
you would have still been here
to argue, to tease
to cajole, to please
to write me a poem
to sing me a paean
there I go again
letting words carry me away
please take this curse off me
with words i wish no felicity
(priya)

in and out

falling out of love
is so much easier
than falling in love
that it hits you
like a tonne of bricks
only when you fall
in love again
and ask, surprised,
what happened
to the love
of my life?
(priya)

endings

and thus it ends
a tear rolling down
into silence.
(priya)
13.9.2015

Sunday, September 6, 2015

betwixt now and then

the sight from the french windows
is a pretty one , I know
the golden yellow of the laburnum
the pretty pink of the madhumalti
the spiky aloe vera coming along fine
as are the slender green chillies
the trailing lengths of the syngonium
the orange blooms of the cactii
the sweet basil not quite straight and tall
I had placed it in the shade mistakenly
I think I"ll draw the curtains and inhale the beauty
dust to dust, but betwixt now and then, there's much to do and see

prejudice

the white speckled orange vase
that holds the lilies white
would be a lovely sight

were it not for the vivid
green of the lily's leaves
that quite subdue
the white and orange hues

or so i thought
till i looked again
and found a harmony
that had quite eluded me
till i put my prejudices aside.

so it is with life.

sorrow

what does one do with days
that stretch from sleep to sleep
and hazy in betweens
and one doesn't quite know whether 
one's weeping in sleep 
or sleeping in a sea of tears 
or even exists at all, amidst all the grief
its all a phantasmagoria
of sorrows past and present
of people lost and gone
of memories that throb with life
although your brain is comatose
you grapple with loud sounds
and harsh lights and smells that 
over power and spin you into a faint
you never quite recover from
and everything looks unreal, tinged
with unbearable pain so that you
so don't want to reach and touch
but want only to curl into a ball
that rolls down green meadows
and strikes tall trees
and falls into the brook 
and gets carried down into the sea

Thursday, July 30, 2015

alienation

how insidiously it happens
the alienation of affections
one day his smile makes your
heart race
and before you know, his presence
irritates
while you write a love poem.


even the irony escapes attention
(priya)

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

martyrs

I awoke from a dream
shivering with dread
it was my son 
I had seen 
moaning, bloodied,
holding out his hand 
for his comrade's help
if mothers decided 
the fates of nations 
perhaps discoveries and inventions
would be the cause of celebrations 
not the laying of wreaths on martyrs' 
graves
for that is a travesty worse than the fate 
which befalls the brave young men 
who die so that we may live 
and celebrate their martyrdom !
(priya)

finding a friend

seek and you shall find
is something I heard often
for years I sought a friend
the search but brought
people
sans soul connection
I surrendered to His will

in despair
like Krishnaa's Krishna
my friend appeared
(priya)

Sunday, July 26, 2015

art speaks

it happens sometimes
not too often though
that a piece of art
finds a place
in your heart
and you carry it around
with a sense of wonder
at the mind which saw the picture
the hands which held the brush
the emotion that mingled with the colours
did the artist paint in a frenzy of creation
or was his mind calm and untroubled
the picture that was yet to
emerge clear and bright
before his eyes
did he paint because he must
or was it an attempt to immortalize his self
who first laid eyes on it
who first exclaimed at the magic
did it move many hearts
did it bring forth joy or tears
the invisible thread that ties the art with the viewer
did it spin a web fine but strong
or was it only to a few that it belonged
for a long time i stood and gazed
speechless immobile blind to the crowds
milling around me
the questions whirled in my head
no answers came forth
but the blossoms spoke to me
i heard their story
it sounded like mine and yours
give of yourself as the flowers do of their
radiance and fragrance
and the world is a better place to live in
(priya)

unseen



on my brow i carefully
placed a vermilion dot
red and green bangles
on the slender wrist
a ruby glinted in its
lattice setting
through silken hair
peeped purple enamel
the golden brocade
was a slice of sun
the anklets whispered
songs of love

he looked away, peering instead
into the silver screen
and warm red blood slowly drenched
the pristine sheets
(priya)

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

To my son (2)



In a world full of uncertainties ----
where no day is like the one that passed

months of turmoil, peace that doesn't last
raging storms come and go
sunshine touches the weary soul
fragrant flowers reach out sometimes in all their glory
leaves that crunch beneath my feet tell another story

You, my son, are the only one ---

whose courage never falters
whose wisdom does not fail
whose smile welcomes Life
whose presence soothes the frail

I am blessed to have you in my life
you, my dearest son, make it all worthwhile

perfect together



"perfect together"
the words set my
heart afire
with dreams that
languorously burnt
till they crumpled
into nothingness.
I have learnt
my lesson well.
(priya)

broken



the smile

in his voice

repaired the rent in

my heart

I am whole again.
(priya)

surgery

get me a surgeon please
i cannot thus vacillate
between hope and despair
far better that i put behind
me this strange affair
that is neither agony
nor ecstasy but
an amalgam that
will be the ruin of
me
but then, so will
a lobotomy
(priya)

heart break



the price one pays
for heart break
i discovered today


i neither heard
bird song at dawn
nor the gentle drizzle
of late afternoon

the madhumalti was
a pearly pink
but in my eyes
it did not exist

the portulaca bloomed
in a myriad colours
but i turned my back
to its radiant fervour

my mind was blind to
all the joys wrought for me
pill upon pill i swallowed recklessly
till the day passed in a dreamless
sleep and I never got to hear
my heart weep

(priya)

dawn

awaken at dawn
inhale the melody of bird song
feel the gentle fragrance of
rajnigandha on dew moist skin
reach out to the feathery clouds
lazing in the hazy morn
Life is abundance, cup it
let the elixir
quieten your thirst
for more
and ever more.
(priya)

Sunday, June 14, 2015

friends

I am yet to find a best friend
you know, the kind of friend
who sees you in your shabby t shirt
and messy hair and says, hey, what is
the secret, you are glowing
The kind of friend who laughs when you fall
and extends a hand to help you up,
exclaiming, come on, isn't Life all about getting
your breath knocked out but getting ready
to take the next blow head on
The kind of friend you can call after years of silence
and the conversation continues as if never interrupted
A friend to whom your silence speaks
to whom tears need no explaining
A friend whose unalloyed joy doubles your happiness
when you are together
Someone you can talk to without editing what you say,
with honesty and spontaneity, you know, straight
from the heart
The kind of friend who may not like the books you read
or the music you play or the clothes you wear
But who will search heaven and earth to get you what you like
And as you grow old together, you will share a treasure of shared memories.
(pvks)

हादसा

कब मिले कब बिछड़े
कुछ याद नहीं रहा
दर्द इक बार मिलता
तो घूँट भर लेती
ये हादसा तो बारहा हुआ

Saturday, June 13, 2015

अतीत

मेरे आँसूओं की लकीर खिची
है देहलीज़ पर
तुम लांघ जाते हो बेपरवाह
मैं बंधी रह जाती हूँ अतीत
की खूँटी पर

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

रिश्ते

एक नाज़ुक सा रिश्ता है
दोस्ती भी नहीं कह सकती
आशिक़ी भी नहीं
बरसों हुए मिले
अरसे हुए बात किये
फिर भी दिल का एक कोना
उसके नाम से महक जाता है
किसी रोज़ कहीं टकरा गए
यूं ही गाहे बगाहे
क्या नज़र मिलेगी
या पुराने शिकवे,
अब तक सुलगते ज़ख्म,
आज़माएंगे ज़ब्त, कहेंगे
चलो, घर चलो
किसी को तुम्हारा इंतज़ार है.
या फिर
उन्हें अनसुना कर
आँखों में नमी लिए
पूछूंगी उस से
क्या पाया तुमने
मुझे खो कर
(pvks )

Monday, May 11, 2015

dreams

have you lived a dream
so stark
you could reach out to touch
the smells were strong
the words resounded
in your ears
and yet
and yet
you knew all along
it was but a dream
your regrets come
back to haunt you
to give you a chance
to say I am sorry
the opportunities
you let go of
come back to say
here, I am back
the decisions you
did not make
or you did make
offering themselves up
for undoing
have you lived
such a dream
then you will know
why you woke up
with your heart thundering
your eyes moist
why you were silent
for so long
you thought perhaps
you had lost your voice.
you will understand
why you stepped
down from the bed
reluctantly
you did not wish to
let go of the dream
if you could have
you would have stepped back.
ah, dreams, the stuff
that life is made of
waking or asleep
i never quite know
whether i dream
a dream
or live in a dream
will i wake up
or will i simply stop
dreaming one day
and another life
would have dreamt
all the dreams
it was meant
to. 

Sunday, March 29, 2015

lessons

each day one
lives one learns
one tastes the darkness
of envy
one glows in the luminescence
of pride
one tastes the ephemerality
of pleasure
one walks on the embers
of regret
the fragrance of possession is
evanescent
loss is a but a fleeting touch.

each day one
lives one learns
one breathes in air
redolent of miracles
one soaks in the
joy of harmony
one learns to
listen to silence
one touches the
shores of equanimity

if at 80 I am
the person I was at 18
life will demand
that I return
to learn.


Thursday, March 26, 2015

sadness

sadness takes many forms
sometimes one peers into
an inky darkness
and sees no
ray of sunshine
sometimes sadness haunts with 
a long forgotten melody
sometimes it is a forgotten face
that imprints itself on
every thing you see
your life seems a meaningless 
series of random
happenings sometimes
and sometimes
you hate the image you see
in the mirror
and wish you were
anything but
then there is the deeper sadness
which hurls you about
wrings you out
demands the truth
and you have no answers
deeper yet is the sadness which asks
of the countless specks 
in the universe 
who am i 
but a moment of insignificance
tears help sometimes
at other times, the
sadness is too deep to 
be relieved
by tears
do you know what 
I mean?

Monday, March 23, 2015

forgiveness

not topaz
not daffodils
will right the wrong

tears of blood alone
that pour forth
and stop not
till they mingle
with the brine
of forgiveness
will atone

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

women

when the piano's rippling strains fill my home
or we discuss randomness over coffee

when he strides out of his room a la Beau Brummell
or from his tales I get glimpses of chivalry

when they joust as they cook and laugh at each other
and grab my card on their way to a movie

I smile, I sigh, I think it was all worth the while
the struggle, the loneliness, the tears, the agony

of lost hopes, forgotten dreams, compromises
and all the paraphernalia that you aren't
told comes with wedding finery.

then i remember my mother
and her mother and hers
and it no longer seems so right to me.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

two women

I must lose two inches , my dear
or I won't fit into the Tarun Tahiliani
and what a disaster that'd be
so oil free food for me, please,
for two weeks at least -----
I heard her say as I laid out
her pearly chiffons
and the accessories
whose names I couldn't pronounce
my thoughts kept turning to
my infant daughter's cries
her sister watching over her
stony eyed, swishing away the flies
their father lay in a stupor
what remained of my savings
clutched tightly in his fist
the knuckles bruised, the blood caked dry